everything wrong with free software
"free as in speech"
=> bullshit-of-the-week.html bullshit-of-the-week
*originally posted:* apr 2021
free software has been dealing with a weasel infestation for years. i havent done a formal count, but its something like 10 weasels for every person. you can do your own counting, its cool.
what these weasels try to do is take over free software and convert it into bullshit. you could call it "open source", because it breeds weasels. open source was (formally, and formerly) run by someone who actually names himself after a creature in the same family as weasels, but this isnt about him. its just a funny example.
while the weasel problem does go all the way to the top (in other nearby organisations, i mean) the real problem is the fuckers are everywhere.
dont get me wrong, weasels are fucking cute sometimes. theyre playful, fun, maybe im thinking of ferrets actually, but if such creatures had no capacity for cuteness then lolcats wouldnt be a thing.
but the cuteness ends when theyve taken over everything. they shit everywhere, they breed more and more weasels, they start pulling wires out of your servers and end up dismantling entire organisations that stand for freedom. thats not so cute. and its been going on for ages.
most weasel problems though, are relatively easy to fix. you just call in an expert and they come clear our your weasels. i dont know if its free, but its worth every fucking coin they charge for it.
with free software, its a bit more complicated. they have so many weasels they dont know whether to clear them out or keep them. and of course for years, people pretended they didnt exist.
"oh, hey! looks like youve got yourself a weasel infestation there!"
"uh, no-- these are just-- theyre visiting!"
"yeah, the um, theyre on holiday, from... norway..."
"ohhhhh, theyre norwegian weasels!"
"yes! norwegian. theyre just here for the week!"
"alright, well-- have fun!"
"yes! thats what we are doing..."
so a year or two later:
"hey! youve got those weasels again!"
"yep! they liked it so much last time, they uh, had to come back for another visit!"
"so they havent been here the whole time?"
"no! no! weve been weasel-free for at least two years, theyre just on holiday!"
"alright, well-- have fun!"
"sure, it is! theyre really keen on this place!"
"they seem to be!"
then of course, another year or two later:
"we are getting rid of our weasel problem..."
oh! you had weasels! like, permanent ones! i sort of always thought you did.
"but its alright, we are definitely clearing them out now!"
and im sure they mean it this time...
but the thing is, i still hear about them making friends with weasels, working with weasels, training weasels to do pet tricks, buying big weasel playsets for them to play with...
it seems sometimes like theyre really not serious about the weasel problem.
but they definitely say they are.
i mean, that should be good enough for anybody. ITS PROGRESS!
tune in next week! same weasel-time, same weasel-channel!